- 11 months ago
So, Nala just introduced me to this amazing site called the Thought catalog and there were so many posts about things you should do before you turn 25, 24, 15, 16 and so on, and I honestly enjoyed reading all of them, they were so accurate and funny that I decided to write one based on my very colourful experiences. Things you shouldn’t do but you probably will before you turn 21.
1. SAY NO.
If you’re staying in an apartment and some of your friends decide to come over any time after 8pm, Please say No. Three people will turn into nine and then fifteen and then your house will be filled with people you don’t know about and probably too drunk to even remember and by the end of the night you’ll be spitting chalk and breaking eggs on peoples head, and don’t even get me started on the morning after it will probably come with a bad ass hangover and skid marks on your floor.
2. DATE A CLOSE FRIEND.
I know it sounds perfect, but trust me, Its not. No matter how perfect you think it will be, it will turn out to be a mistake. You will end up getting comfortable too fast too soon, and will probably end up losing your virginity and your will to log into Facebook ever again. (p.s- Nala, please stop laughing).
3. GO TO COLLEGE DRUNK/HUNGOVER.
Trust me, I know it sounds really cool. ITS NOT. you will end up drawing weird stuff on your notebook and drooling because you slept while drawing something weird on your notebook. And never confuse the sexy messy hungover look they show in movies. You WILL look like shit.
4. HAVE SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM.
Pregnancy is not as funny and adventurous as they show in Katherine Heigl movies, it is scary and disgusting and painful and probably kill you, specially when you’re still a kid. It might feel great doing it without a condom for a while, but a baby coming out of your vagina won’t. Always use protection. Be safe and sexy.
5. GET CHEAP STREAKS.
I agree it looks good on t.v, But it won’t on you. Cheap streaks ESPECIALLY the red colour which is oh-so-popular with college freshmen and school girls. WE GET IT GIRLS, YOU LOOK COOL, lets wait for the dirty bleached blonde hair to start showing now, shall we?
6. MAKE OUT WITH A FRIEND’S EX.
Never be the other girl. EVER. the guilt is bad and it probably will spoil the fun of doing it.
7. MAKE OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND’S EX, AGAIN.
So maybe he’s cute and Maybe you like the rebellious rush you get of doing it with that guy again because everybody told you, you shouldn’t and you can’t. You are not Barney Stinson, do not take it as a “Challange-Accepted” situation. You are being plain stupid. This is not “How I Met Your Mother”, but if you go through with it, It will however, turn out to be “How I Didn’t Let Your Dad Meet Your Mother”.
8. GET HIGH.
Ok who am I kidding.
9. NOT GO FOR A TRIP WITH BEST FRIENDS.
I know its about things you shouldn’t do but will end up doing, but this is one thing you should DEFINITELY do. Go to a place with your girlfriends, get drunk and pass out on the beach, Go to the mountains, make a bonfire smoke some weed and sip some wine or Go to a place for adventure sports. (Speaking from a personal experience, nothing will give you more pleasure than seeing your friend fall in a rapid during white water river rafting and telling them to “keep breathing!! help is coming” while they are underwater struggling to not die and hold on to the safety rope of the raft. Do i look like Aquaman?).
10. CONFRONT/BREAK-UP WITH SOMEBODY THROUGH A SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE.
It is the most immature and annoying way to deal with things, but then again, everybody at this age is immature and annoying. Try not to get too ‘E’-motional over the internet, be it with your friend or someone you’re dating, its a douchebag move, but then again, we all our just two peas in a pod. Except both the peas are stupid. very stupid.
11. GET A TATTOO
i don’t know why, but these days i see tatted teenagers everywhere, and the best part comes is when you ask them about it and what it means to them, they will tell you heartwarming story about how they went to the tattoo parlor, went through some sketches got an epiphany and then got a symbolic tattoo of a fly on their body. Get inked only when you are sure about what you want and where you want it and what it will mean to you. Tattoos are like kids, Once you have them you can never ignore them (unless you die or like you have money to get laser done, I don’t know man). But take my advice, if you ever get a chance of getting a multicolored naked fairy sitting on a mushroom holding a star tattoo on your back, please slap yourself, say no, and walk away before that naked fairy takes all your dignity away.
12. FALL IN LOVE
Being a 20 year old is hard, you have nothing but chaos going on in your life at this age, you have no money, no good clothes, and if you are God’s special child, you might even spot a strand of grey hair. Your emotions are all messed up and heightened at this age and your life is dominated by three MAJOR urges - Always horny, Always Hungry and ALWAYS Sleepy (let’s call it the HHS syndrome). The last thing you would need is to fall in love, Please don’t do it. But you probably will, and If you have good friends, they will always be there standing behind you to support you, but mainly to make fun of your crappy situation, BUT if you’re really lucky they will come holding a cup of tea, an ear to whine on and the “I told you so” look in their eyes.
- 1 year ago
When you were a kid and you were just learning how to swim (or being forced to learn how to, in my case.), do you remember that helpless feeling when you were pushed forcefully in the pool with the idea that the natural instinct of human survival will kick us so hard on our respective backsides and make us paddle and kick just to stay afloat and not drown?, Do you remember being so helpless in that moment, even if we were at the shallow end and it wasn’t so deep, do you remember feeling so lost of all hope and thinking to yourself, “I am going to die, and it will be in this ugly fuck of a swimming costume and the ghosts that live underwater are probably going to eat me”, OK i don’t know if you thought of this, but i remember thinking all of these things. Anyways my point is, life is more or less the same, ONLY sometimes its worse and the pressure to willingly jump into the pool knowing that you don’t know how to swim and obviously don’t have gills is so much more.
It comes in flashes, the feeling of drowning, the feeling of helplessness, it comes in phases so unexpected that it barely gives you any time, to breathe in as much oxygen that we can to survive those scary moments underwater, you don’t have time, and you will probably never have the time to prepare yourself , life is funny like that, and as you grow up you keep going towards the deep end. Your poor, inexperienced self keeps floating towards it, and you cannot do anything about it. Your only option in that moment is to be strong and just keeping pace with the flow, and you will survive. You might be scared and out of breathe but after you’ve conquered it and you’re floating like a boss at the deepest side, you shall own the world, and owning the world comes with its perks, you can then proudly stand on the diving board no matter how high and take a leap, because in that moment you wont have any fears and you’ll be in control (unless you’re afraid of heights, because then this analogy is just useless, whole new different story.)
Anyways, i remember venting on the phone about how life is unfair and talking in random metaphors about how cruel life can be sometimes, and that how nothing makes sense, and then i explained the whole swimming analogy to my father, I know a 20 year old cribbing about life to her dad isn’t the best case scenario, but hey! everybody shouts for their parents when their drowning. Its nice to talk to somebody who has gone through so much more and has experienced things way worse than what i was going through, after i was done talking or rather whining, i heard a giggle on the other end of the phone and a single line which was basically a “cellular” bear hug, which as absurd as it sounds made everything around me calmer,
he said, “If you don’t like to swim, you’ll find another way to survive, you have nothing to worry about. Life, is easy darling”.
- 1 year ago